Ten Ways to Build Self Esteem

how to build self esteem

Your self-esteem is an important factor in self development. Having high self esteem will help you to live a happy life. It determines how much you think you are worth and affect your self confidence and your overall happiness.

Some people develop their self-esteem based on others opinions which is not authentic and can be dangerous. Why? Because other people’s opinions are personal and according to their values and can be inaccurate. When you know how to build your own self-esteem, no one can take it away from you.

how to build self esteem

First you must understand people’s opinions about you don’t determine your reality or what you are capable of. The only person who can do this is you.

Here are 10 tips on building your self confidence:

Tip #1 Don’t rely on others to feel good about yourself

If you count on what others say about you to feel good about yourself then you are doing a disservice to yourself and you will never be able to build up your own self-esteem.

People’s compliments can make you feel good about yourself but relying on compliments however can be detrimental to your self-esteem. You may find yourself obsessing about what others think and feeling down on days when no one comments on something nice about you.

This also means that you will dwell on negative comments or even criticism from other people.

Tip #2 Do things that make you feel good about yourself

What makes you happy? An interest or hobby, which is good for you and makes you happy, will help to boost your self-esteem. Doing things that are important to you and things that you are good at will increase your self-worth significantly.

Tip #3 Accept compliments
Do you accept compliment easily? Some people find it hard to accept compliment without giving a return compliment back. Learning how to accept a compliment can be hard for those with low self-esteem. Often they will shrug it off and be confused as to why someone is saying something nice about them.

As we’ve said before, you should never rely on compliments to determine your self-worth. On the other hand, you shouldn’t ignore them either. Embracing and accepting a nice comment from another person is important in building self-esteem. Next time when someone gives you a compliment, just fully accepted and say thank-you; do not deflect it by saying something nice about them immediately.

Tip #4 Help others

Helping others is a great way to feel good about yourself. You will feel good after you have genuinely offered your support to those who need it without asking for a return.

Helping others just because that’s who you are. Don’t just help others to make yourself look good, as that will not improve your self-esteem at all.

Tip #5 Take care of your appearance

Taking care of your body and appearance is not vain. It means that you love and respect yourself. Sometimes people with low self-esteem fall into a vicious cycle – they feel bad so they don’t take care of their appearance and then because they’re not taking care of themselves they feel even worse.

Tip #6 Be positive

Your self-esteem will thrive if you are a positive person. Looking at the positive things in your life will allow you to feel like you are worthy of being happy.

This is a great video about building self esteem:

Tip #7 Exercise

It’s a scientific fact that exercise releases endorphin and makes you feel better about yourself. When you exercise and take care of your body, this will affect your self-esteem in a positive way.

When you exercise, you look good and feel good. Your self esteem will skyrocket.

Tip #8  Learn to laugh at yourself

Laughing at yourself shows that you do not judge your flaws and mistakes and you accept them. Remember you are not the mistakes you make. Understanding the ups and downs of life will mean that your self-esteem remains even in the most challenging situations.

Self-esteem is the overall evaluation of what you think you are worth. Building up your self-esteem will also develop your self confidence and self worth. Understanding your self-worth will lead to a happier life and this will encourage others to treat you with the respect that you deserve.

Tip #9 Ignore negative influences

Some people around you may be Negative Nancy’s with self-destructive behavior that try to put you down. The key is to avoid these negative influences at all cost. They can drag you down or even discourage you from achieving your goals. You don’t need to be with them.

Tip #10 Celebrate your achievements

Celebrate each and every one of your achievements, no matter how big or small it is. This will help to increase your self esteem and get you into a resourceful state to achieve more.

Intimate Relationship Advice: How To Let Go and Move On

Let Go and Move On in relationship

Most people, in one way or another has experience or is experiencing the happiness of being in love; the sweetness, the laughter, the carefreeness and the incomparable feeling of being in love. This most probably is the reason why nothing can compare to the pain that a broken heart bears, because love can make you fly high over the mountains or make you sunk on the depths of Hades.

On the other hand, we all know that love or technically the feeling of being in love doesn’t stay the same forever. Every kind of relationship arrives at the point wherein you really want to let go, especially when it seems to you that the other person has already let go of the robe and that holding on will just give you more pain, and when the only choice is to let go and so you must move on. Maybe because each person has different set of values.

It is a fact that all of these words which I have written in here are easily said than done, but I must say these are all worth the try, better to move your feet no matter how hard it is than to stay on the quicksand and let yourself drown with sadness. We all had our own fair share of priceless moments but just like what most people say- nothing stays forever, so here is our list that might help you move on with that very special or most special love of yours, moving on with pride and joy that when you once remember it in the future you’ll say “It wasn’t easy doing that, but it’s worth it!”.

The etching process for letting go and moving on 

Etching, according to Merriam-Webster, is the art of producing pictures or designs by printing on an etched metal plate. This process requires an acid or a laser to cut the surface of the hard object just to make the beautiful designs out of it. Let’s look at moving on in that way, a painful and despicable process in the beginning for which a beautiful design will be made at the end.

The things that are listed here are not easy to do, especially if you really love the person, but it’s worth the try. You can also add or deduct something on the list that would entirely depend on you as long as you work with our, you and us, common goal which is to help you move on.

Let Go and Move On  in relationship

Stop the blaming game and assess what happened

This is very important, the hurt will never end until you accept that you also did something wrong. Don’t act as if you are the good guy, somehow you are on the extreme, either good or bad, that’s why this happened. Don’t blame him/her for the pain, you chose to love the person so deal with it-after all, it’s a choice. Just as the lyrics of a popular song goes; “ I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough” you need to understand that this has been a work in progress before you both arrived at the dead end of your loving fairy tale. Understand and accept that both of you are on this, it’s not entirely the other person’s fault alone. I learn to take responsibility in relationship from Tony Robbins Date With Destiny event. Not only you need  to be responsible in your relationship, but also in life.

Accept that there is nothing to come back to

Stop bargaining! Accept that this is the dead end until then you will never have the courage to turn back and go to the opposite side of the wall.

Smile, everything happens for a reason

Everything happens for a reason, someone better is waiting there for you. Just believe and earn both your mistakes and achievements in this juncture of your life. Remember, assess what happened and learn from it so you will not commit the same mistakes again. Bear in mind that you need these experiences to become a better individual which is also a choice- you can either evolve to a butterfly from being a caterpillar or die with worms never knowing what should have happened next if only you didn’t gave up.

The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.
Anthony Robbins

How To Achieve Your Goals By Understanding Your Values

How To Achieve Your Goals By Understanding Your Values

How To Achieve Your Goals By Understanding Your ValuesHave you ever set goals and tried to achieve them and when it comes close to the finish line, something happened and screwed your progress?

Have you ever felt there is some resistance that stops you from achieving your goals?

Have you ever beaten yourself up because you said to yourself that you’d do something and then you didn’t?

When this happens, the reason behind it could be because your values are in conflict. So what are values and how do you determine them to help you achieve your goals?

According to Dr. John Demartini, everybody lives their life by a set of priorities, a set of values, from things that are most important and meaningful to them to the things that are least important and meaningful. Whenever they live their life congruently aligned with their highest values, they will maximize all their potential and resources to achieve their goals and live in a fulfilling life. But when people live according to their lower values, they end up frustrated, procrastinated and beat themselves up.

So the key here is if you want to achieve anything, make sure your goal is truly aligned with your highest values to increase your chance of achieving it and become more fulfilled when you have it.

When your goals are aligned with your values, you are inspired from within to take actions. You are more inspired to wake up every morning and do it because it’s important and meaningful to you.

Understanding your values will help you identify your purpose.

Watch the video below to learn how:

2 steps to take control of your values

Anthony Robbins, an American motivational speaker and self-help author,  recommends a two step process to take control of our values:

  1. Step 1. Identify what your current values are, and rank these values in order of importance.
  2. Step 2: Ask yourself this question: “What do my values need to be in order to achieve the destiny I truly want, desire and deserve?”  Brainstorm out a list.  Now put this new list in order.  Start analyzing your values to see which ones you might need to get rid of and which ones you might need to add in order to create the quality of life you truly want.

Remember your values shape your destiny. Knowing how to identify and understand your own unique values is probably the most important self help topic.

13 Questions That Help You Identify Your Highest Values

In his latest book The Value Factor, Dr Demartini provided the 13 questions that you can use to ask yourself to find out your hierarchy of values. They are:

#1. How do you fill your space?

#2. How do you spend your time?

#3. How do you spend your energy?

#4. How do you spend your money?

#5. Where are you most organized?

#6. Where are you most reliable?

#7. What dominates your thoughts?

#8. What do you visualize the most?

#9. What do you most often talk to yourself about?

#10. What do you often talk to others about?

#11. What inspires you?

#12. What goals stand out in your life and have stood the test of time?

#13. What topics do you love to study, read about or research?

When you have the answers for these 13 questions, you will realize there are repetitions. So make a list of the most occurred answers. The answers that show up the most are your current highest values. Notice your values will change from time to time, but no two people have the same values.

You are automatically a leader when you live your life evolving around your highest values. This is when you are most focused, disciplined, reliable and efficient.

From now on, when you set any goal, make sure you know and understand your current hierarchy of values to help you increase the probability of having success.